questionablecontentfandomcom-20200214-history
Wil
| first = |gender = Male |last = }} Wil is a poet and a friend of Sven Bianchi. He is exceptionally thin, leading some to describe him as a "starving artist". He is very shy and expresses himself through his poetry to explain parts of his personality he is rather quiet about. Biography Background Wil's parents live in the area so he may be a native. Wil went to Williston Academy and attended college. His major is unknown but there is every reason to believe it was some flavor of liberal arts. 1000s Wil is introduced simply as a friend of Sven's but became more involved in the strips due to his romantic crush on Penelope, to whom he was too shy to talk. On one occasion Faye, attempting to make a nasty practical joke, told Wil that Penelope was a fan of Ernest Hemingway (whom Penelope despises) and to try to talk to her about him. On another occasion he gets some coffee and leaves in a hurry, leaving one of his more erotic poems behind which Penelope reads. After agonizing over what to do he attempts to ask Penelope out in an act of personal bravery. To his surprise she accepts and he tells Sven of his accomplishment and his intention to take her to one of the most expensive restaurants in town, asking him for $200 to do so. Sven throws him $20 and tells him to go make 9 other friends, thinking he's going too over the top for one date. Dating Penny The night of their date Penelope is waiting at Coffee of Doom for Wil, wondering if something is wrong because he is 10 minutes late. When he does turn up he is badly hurt and has a broken arm. While riding his bike to meet her a truck clipped his back wheel, caused him to fall, but he didn't go straight to the hospital because he believes "A gentleman never stands up a lady". Flattered by his selflessness she takes him to the hospital to have his arm taken care of. Later on in the arc Wil takes Penelope to lunch at a park where they talk about spirituality and faith, which Wil believes in and Penelope rejects. During the discussion a tamed bear from a wildlife show turns up after escaping its tamers, which does not act violently but just eats Penelope's sandwich. Due to his arm Wil can do nothing and feels slightly emasculated. Vision quest A few days later he visited the shop to tell Penelope that the encounter with the bear made him feel like he doesn't deserve her. He acquired a motorbike and would be going on a road trip to "discover his inner-self" and would return when he felt he had. Promising to write to her everyday he left, with Penelope promising to wait for him. Through letters to Penelope, Wil recounts many of events of his travels, including going on a "vision quest" but ending up at a nudist retreat and meeting new "friends" who seem to be of questionable nature. He eventually returns to Northampton. and arrives at the Coffee of Doom where he is met by an ecstatic Penelope. They make out in the shop (so Penelope gets paid for her shift) and distract the other patrons before being sent home where they make love for the first time. After returning from his road trip it is revealed that Wil has never had a job since he did work experience back in college. Penelope encourages him to get a job, although the suit he intended to wear to the interview was a little old fashioned, consisting of a tweed coat, waistcoat and monocle. However this ended up being a benefit when he went to be interviewed at The Horrible Revelation, a local bar that uses Victorian style to appeal to patrons. He was immediately hired and is currently employed as a barman and waiter. Penelope and Wil are invited by Marten and Faye to a night of drinking and hijinks at their apartment. Wil, in light of the nature of the bar he works at, has begun to grow a mustache. He has become more knowledgeable about drinking lore as a result of his job. Personality Sex and drugs and rock&roll Wil is heterosexual. He has a romantic nature but is awkward around women. He has joked about opium as a poetic tradition, but his actual drug preferences are unknown aside from caffeine. We do not know his musical tastes. Memorable Quotes *"Sweet Lady Fate, why dost thou piss on me so?" *"I do NOT write about 'turgid wangs!' Turgid is a three-dollar adjective and I only use five-dollar adjectives and higher!"